Why Detoxifying Relationships Will Keep You Sane

After a little bit of a social media blunder, our health editor came to the realization that it was time for a Facebook detoxification. It was time to remove those from her social media life that didn’t serve her positively. As she removed the ‘friends’ from her life, it dawned on her: why do we spend so much time detoxing our bodies to be healthy, and our social media profiles to get rid of the trolls? Yet we continue to allow toxic relationships in our actual lives.

Toxic relationships can involve anyone from friends, family and even your other, sometimes not so better, half. Why is it that we don’t allow acquaintances to treat us crappy in a social media setting, we press the unfriend button without a second thought. Yet, when those near and dear to us do it, we make excuses for them. We immediately look at ourselves and justify their behavior by thinking we were the fault that lead to said behavior?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I am always right, but when a person treats you well one day only to ridicule or make snarky comments the next, that person is the toxic one. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

This is easier said than done and being brought up to be respectful of others, especially my elders, has made it difficult to do a proper relationship detox. That was until I read The Life-Changing Magic of not giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight. This is the Marie Kondo clean-up of relationships. She actually makes you realize that sometimes in life the only person whose happiness matters is your own, and no matter how selfish this may appear to those out there, it isn’t. In fact, it is imperative, because if you hate yourself, you will hate the world, and they won’t like you much either.

 

Detox your relationship in 1, 2, 3…

Affirm your worth, and don’t let anyone tell you less.

Ever heard that like attracts like? Self-perception is how you will allow others to treat you. If you are unkind to yourself, that toxicity leads to toxic relationships and emotions.  How do I break this vicious cycle, I hear you ask? Easy. Start saying positive things to yourself and mean them.

Stand in front of the mirror and look at the person staring back.   Tell her how you feel! I love you, I am so proud of you, you are kind, you are beautiful, I respect you. Tell her, you are ENOUGH! Now tell yourself, I AM ENOUGH.

Teach your mind to accept nothing less than respect and gratitude from others. Any bad vibes from anyone must be shoved to the side and not be entertained.

Release negative relationships, no matter who they are with.

Cutting ties with negative people, especially those who are close to us, is extremely hard. In saying this, it is not impossible. Toxic people are like those old panties with the holes in, you keep them because you know them, not because they make you look and feel good. The same with these toxic relations, we hang onto them for dear life, just in case they actually help to console us once in a while.

Think about those people, friends and family that you have kept around for the sake of. Then think about how they really make you feel. Think about how every compliment is over-shadowed by ridicule. How it feels like a carrot of compliments are dangled in front of your nose, and just as you get there, BAM! It gets pulled away.

Ridding your life of these relations will not only positively influence your life, but will also decrease your stress. You will be a happier, better version of you. Like what you hearing? Now take the step and release them.

Choose relationships that are encouraging and enlightening.

Make a conscientious decision to surround yourself with positive people only. It is difficult and it takes constant work and effort, however, it is very possible and achievable. Find the things that make you happy, and in that, you will find the people who positively influence you.  If those in your life cannot or will not grow with you, it is time to wave them on their way. #ByeFelicia

Have you done a relationship detox?  Did you find it increased your happiness? Leave a comment below, and feel free to share this blog with those who may benefit from my pearls of wisdom.

Editor’s note – The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving A F*ck is available on www.takealot.com for R179.

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Adele Koolen
Adele Koolen

Health Editor

Adele Koolen studied BSc (Hons) Physiotherapy at Wits, practiced as a Physio for 15 years, and became one of the most sought-after Physios in the world sport arena. However, a hand injury in 2017 forced Adele to pursue alternative business ventures, resulting in her becoming a successful businesswoman and philanthropist. She is currently a Social Media Manager for a design company in Johannesburg, the founder of the #IAmEnoughZA campaign and the reigning Mrs SA Charity.

3 Comments
  1. The toxicity becomes a norm in our lives,its the fear of the unknown that keeps us in relationships that are more toxic than anything else. Your blog is food for thought,but we cannot choose family,its harder to get rid of these relationships than the ones we have on social media. But thanks.

  2. Love the practicality of how to go about reflecting on self and those around you. Thank you for a great read Adele’s ❤

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