Can a relationship survive without sex? Does sex strengthen a marriage? How much sex is healthy for a relationship?
These are all some of the most common questions I get asked by couples who have been together for a long time. The answer is, there is no right answer. I read up on this and found some useful information over here too.
I personally believe that when you are in a serious relationship where sex has played a big role from the beginning, slowing down on the dirty works may affect your chemistry. Not only will your partner be unhappy about it but it will also create confusion as to why you stopped giving and what the reasons are. For this, there is a remedy. Speak to your partner about it. Unless you openly discuss the reasons it will most likely end up stirring some emotions.
We as women sometimes struggle with the ol’ hormones creeping up just as we get our tighty-whities ready, and wham! No more sexy time because at that exact moment, the pile of dishes makes us want to cry. Or, your partner might want/need to become the sailor of the red sea and one of you are not 100% comfortable with that.
Explaining to one another why there won’t be any fireworks tonight can be challenging as we don’t all think alike or analyze things the same way. The key to this is to ensure you present your case with enough evidence. “I have a headache” does not cut it any more ladies. You HAVE to talk about it.
Something I also think about a lot is that it can also improve a relationship from time to time when sex is not the no. 1 focus anymore. This gives us time to focus on things outside the bedroom. It creates space for us to get to know our partners better than we thought we did. Often this creates stronger chemistry between you and your partner and can lead to a pretty steamy situation.
Yes, sex is great, but we need to understand that in order to have a healthy sex life, we need to be happy in other aspects of our relationships too. Research has actually shown that people who are happy with themselves, their career and their circumstances are the people who tend to have a happier sex life. But research has also shown that green peppers are good for you, and to me, they suck. Every person and relationship is different.
Note to self: There is nothing wrong with a relationship that does not depend on sex. Second note to self: There is nothing wrong with a relationship filled with amazing sex. A final note to self: If you are reading this, you already have the answers. Go get ’em, girl!