Virginity; something most of us dread thinking about at some point in our lives. But why?
The picture painted to us on what it is to lose your virginity has become somewhat exaggerated over the years. It has gotten to the point where some women are more scared of losing it due to the pain, rather than staying pure for their religious/cultural reasons.
This is sad because losing your virginity is a special, priceless and very intimate moment. The truth is, there are a million ways to make sure your partner enters the red room without feeling like a cactus is climbing out of you.
So what happens when you lose your virginity? When you are born, a thin layer of membrane called the Hymen covers the opening of the vagina. Most women believe that the Hymen is completely closed and is torn through by a penis. Like sticking a knife through a balloon when you have sex for the first time. This is very far from the truth.
Most of the time, hymens naturally have a hole big enough for period blood to come out of and for you to use tampons comfortably. Some people are born with so little hymenal tissue that it seems like they don’t have a hymen at all. In rare cases, people have hymens that cover the entire vaginal opening, they may need to see a doctor for a minor procedure to remove the extra tissue.
When a penis enters the vagina, the hymen stretches open and does sometimes tear slightly. When this happens, you might experience some discomfort or pain and even a little bit of bleeding. Some people experience no bleeding or pain at all. This, just like with any other sexually relating topic, depends from person to person.
The day I lost my virginity, when the moment came, as soon as I saw blood I got up and ran like a pro-sprinter. Why? Because to me, someone who never read about any of this or who never had any facts surrounding this topic, this was a scary experience. I was shocked, disgusted and definitely afraid to know what really happened “down there”. This occurs when we are kept from the truths of losing our virginity. For some of us, Google was not an option when we went through this the first time.
Man, if my mom told me it might be painful I would have waited until my Virginity lost itself!
Here are a few tips on what you can do to try and reduce the pain:
1. Make sure you are properly lubricated.
2. Find a relaxing and calm space for you and your partner.
3. Experiment with different positions.
4. Go slowly and ensure your partner is gentle with you.
5. A long hot bath beforehand helps the body and mind to relax.
Most importantly, make sure you are ready to take that step.