Self-Image: Unlock the Inner Secrets of Springtime

The sad reality is that every woman has the desire to be perfect. Who sets the standards of being perfect? Every woman has self-image issues. I prefer to call them SELF-SECRETS because women like to hide their insecurities. I challenge you to this question: Why hide your uniqueness? You have the quality that no other person has. Oh, boy and society does not like competition.

Everyone has a need for acceptance, however small it might be. That is normal. What is abnormal, is when that need overtakes your relationships, your decisions, your hopes and the person looking back in the mirror. The impact on women is devastating.

We hide behind makeup and designer clothing. I bet you would rather scrape out the last bit of foundation with an earbud, than start your day without it. By all means, dolly yourself up, but do this for the sake of humanity and feeling good about your own self-image, not to be accepted.

Social Media Mix

The Economy of My Attention

Do you sometimes feel disgusted when you post a damn nice selfie and it hardly gets any likes? You counter it with a motivational post and when that doesn’t do the trick, you give the world access to your breakfast meal. After a total count of 5 likes, you throw in the towel. How do other people get so many likes? You waste half a day and perfectly great food just to impress the world. You can hardly enjoy an event because you are constantly scouting for the perfect location to take a selfie. Where is this world taking us?

Here is a tip: Take one photo, post it and enjoy the rest of the day.

I’ve recently seen a Bieber concert and let me share a shockingly interesting observation. 95% of the people recorded and watched it live on their phones. It doesn’t make sense to pay thousands of rands and dress up for an event that you’re going to watch on your cellphone. 95% of all those people could have stayed at home and watched Justin Bieber on YouTube.

The Perfection Trap

Our character comes from within.

The platforms are full of models with unrealistic body images, giving us the wrong idea of an ideal body type.

We walk the world and look for evidence where we don’t belong. If we negotiate ourselves, we might fit in for someone else, but we don’t belong to ourselves anymore. – Brené Brown

A great self-image is not about looking in the mirror and thinking you are beautiful. It is looking in the mirror and noticing your flaws, but knowing that there is more to you than what others can see.

Lady on swing at waterfallIt is equally important to follow role models with the same interest. You can’t expect to look like someone else when you were given your own talents and beauty. We have the tendency to compare our bad days, with someone else’s good days. In an instant, your self-image-basket is filled with unrealistic expectations that you were not created to handle.

“You will carry baggage that is packed for someone else’s journey.”

As if the Jones’ weren’t bad enough, Keeping up with the Kardashians can be even more exhausting.

Here is some advice on how to find your own happiness and success:

  • The things you spend the most time on plays a humongous role in your life. Therefore it is important to spend your time wisely. Endless browsing on social media will crush your spirit and your self-image.
  • Be happy with yourself before you can shine a light to others. It’s important to find your own interests and goals in life to know who you are and what you want to achieve in life. You may dream big, but it also requires hard work to achieve your own goals. Focus on your own happiness.
  • Strive to be different. How will you ever stand out, when you are so desperately trying to fit in?
  • Since Social Media took over, the word “Hobbies” has disintegrated. I challenge you to find a hobby.
  • Embrace your flaws. Do you think your favourite celebrity is flawless?

Are you ready to be shocked?

The list of celebrities that flaunted their stretch marks include: Rihanna, Reese Witherspoon, Lady Gaga, Drew Barrymore, Demi Lovato and even Jenny from the block. Jennifer Lopez shared a picture where she exposed her flaws with pride.

It is normal, fellow female human being! You are not scarred. You are one of us!

As spring is here it brings new challenges, wardrobe changes and the dreadful art of shaving. Each season requires us to be a different person because we grow and learn from each season. A bad hour does not define your day.

Happy Woman in sunflower gardenHow can I handle bad days?

  • Small Steps

I bet you had to learn to crawl before you walked, and I strongly believe you can walk now.

Same with talking and reading etc. Wouldn’t you agree that even the Queen used to be in diapers? Everything we take on had to start small so we could grow into it. Don’t get frustrated with the growing pains, it’s part of the process.

We are too hard on ourselves when we miss a goal by an inch, but your downfall is what gives you momentum.

  • Self-talk

Look in the mirror and remind yourself often that you are fearless, wonderful and your own competition. Strive to be better than you were yesterday. Would you talk to other people, the way you talk to yourself and break down your self-image? Forget the blame-game and forgive yourself for mistakes. The word perfect can be harmful because you are already perfect the way you are.

  • Keep your inner child

Celebrate all the small victories. When you feel excited about a task, start working on it immediately. Childlike happiness can bring some creativity that you never knew you had before.

  • Search for the lesson

Every situation, good or bad, carries a lesson. You can decide to carry the baggage or unpack and help find a solution.

You are unique, there is a gap in the market for who you are! Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to all that is editable.

The key to real success is when you accomplish your own goals. Don’t follow someone else’s success if you want to experience satisfaction in life. Each person has a gift in life and only you have received that unique gift (teaching, inspire, hard-working, etc.) and it’s your job to embrace and enhance that gift.

{Written by Kiki Smit & Veronique Joseph}

Read more Real Life
Read more Health

Kiki Smit
Kiki Smit

Real Life Editor

Kiki Smit is an energetic bundle of humor and passion. The moment you meet her, you instantly feel like she's your best friend. She is an internationally qualified Relationship Life-Coach and Family Law Mediator. She tackles the whole shebang when it comes to couples. Although she is not a promoter of divorce, sometimes it is inevitable. Therefore as a family law mediator she handles divorce procedures to settle your divorce, maintenance and parenting plan agreements in a legally binding decree.

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

BLOSS is an international media platform for South African women who live all over the world in the age group, 20 – 35 years. We integrate print and technology through innovative and exciting ways to keep things fresh, modern and interactive.