Meeting In The Middle

How often have you felt a little unsure about a sexual suggestion? The thought of trying something new sending you towards the hills? Well, it’s time to consider meeting in the middle.

But, before I blab about what you may already know, WELCOME TO 2020, a chance to make a change! It definitely started of with a BANG!

Although we all have our own ideals when it comes to sex, you need to remember that a lot of what we find arousing may be because we have been conditioned to trust in only certain things. The truth is, if you allow yourself to be open to new ideas, you may just end up enjoying yourself more than before.

The more I listen to couples and the problems they face, the more I realize that we, as humans, don’t often compromise in most situations. In our “sex lives” too. We’d rather stick to what we know rather than open up to new ideas. Well, I’m here to tell you that once you learn to let go, you probably won’t go back to what you know.

The first step

Exchange ideas. We are all grown ups. Have a sit down and chat about what the both of you want to achieve during sex. How to get there and what you can do to make it a tad more memorable. Personal needs aside. Understand that although you might be a plain-Jane, your partner might be a daring-Darren. This should actually be an exciting chapter in your relationship.

The second step

Write down a list of 5 things that you both have always wanted to try. No matter how absurd it seems, write it down. Its proven that once it’s on paper, it cannot be forgotten. Take the list and work your way through. Try each item on the list as time progresses and once you have completed the items, move to step 3.

The third step

If anything on the list made you feel uncomfortable, highlight it and discuss it. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what it is that you did or did not like. This way, you avoid any awkward conversations and, you learn more about one another. Keep the list as a reminder that a compromise is possible.

Look, I am not saying that when he/she knocks on your door with a bottle of gherkin flavored lube that you should leave your panties at the door. What I am saying is, take into consideration that change can be as good to you as your comfort zone used to be. Allow your partner to disclose his/her fantasies, listen to what he/she has to say. HAVE SOME FUN THIS NEW YEAR!

Christelle du Plessis
Christelle du Plessis

Sex Editor

Christelle du Plessis is an aspiring motivational speaker, certified life coach and the fiance of a real rockstar. Her passion is working with women while creating a space for them where they feel safe to express their themselves and where they will become equipped to change the circumstances they are in. Christelle is a social butterfly, she is loud, busy and bubbly and she would like to think of herself as a very strong-minded and determined young woman. Instead of changing the world, she wants to teach people to do it themselves.

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