Are they real, or are they excuses?
Let’s expose the fake excuses in order for you to realize what the truth is behind a breakup. Some are just honest reasons, but others are coming straight out of the mouth of a liar.
Take it from me, if you can spot someone lying about why they broke up, they already bashed out a few lies before and you probably didn’t even notice.
WHY DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP HAVE TO END?
1. My partner and I no longer feel like friends
True, but friendship is something you work on daily. So this person is actually saying, I am giving up on this relationship because I don’t feel it is worth the hard work.
2. I am constantly thinking about how nice it would be to have an affair.
False, absolutely false! Leave your partner, immediately! Let them walk over to the kiddies section of life.
3. I am unwilling to accept my partner as they are.
True, respect for your partner for telling you the honest truth although it hurt, but then again, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t love you for who you are. Say bye-bye to the clay master and build your own life.
4. My partner and I have very little in common anymore.
False, this is just like saying, I’m too lazy to get to know my partner and grow with them in life. This could also be the other way around, where your partner has outgrown you. The idea of growing in your relationship is taking each other’s hands and doing it together. If you outgrow your partner, make sure you tried your best to get them on board.
5. My partner and I fight a lot, and I fear that underneath the fighting not much is left.
False, If you care for your partner, you will find a way to work on the anger and fighting. Just giving up, because you fight a lot, means they are fighting with you and not for you.
6. My partner and I are just no longer playing for the same team.
False, This could be because you’ve outgrown each other, or because you’ve let the friendship and the communication go all downhill. Or it could be that an identity change caused this to happen. There are many reasons, but let me tell you, if this is their reason for the breakup, it is vague. I suspect they are not telling the truth.
7. The more time goes by, the more I dislike my partner.
True, damn hard to admit that this is true. People evolve in life and they change due to circumstances. You don’t feel the same about your ex-partner of 5 years back do you? That’s because we change, and as we do, we move over to new crowds and new people and old ones start to irritate us. If your partner hits you with this one, rather leave, or you will irritate them even more by nagging to stay. Don’t dig a hole in a whirlpool.
8. My respect for my partner is practically all gone.
True, if your partner lost all their respect for you, there must be an underlying reason, and I guess if you hear this break-up line, you probably know exactly why.
9. There is very little trust left in our relationship.
True, same as the above. You probably already know why your partner doesn’t trust you anymore, or vice versa. Maybe you will trust your partner again and they just can’t continue in a trustless relationship.
10. Even in the good times, I would be happier if we split up.
True, sad, but true. If they give you an indication that they want to leave, you can surely start waiting for the sheet to hit the fan. The end is near.
11. I would leave this relationship in a heartbeat if I felt confident that I could make it on my own or through the painful transition period of a breakup.
True, another sad truth. If someone goes as far as to share this statement, they are not sparing any soft words to pamper your heart, they are being brutally honest!
12. My partner has an emotional hold on me. I would love to leave but feel too hooked and addicted to the relationship.
True, People don’t usually get addicted to a relationship, rather fearful of the unknown. They will experience fear of rejection and fear of abandonment, thus they would rather stick it out than to face what lies ahead.
13. If I could afford it financially I would leave.
True, your partner won’t really tell this to your face. If they do, they are being honest. If they don’t, they are using you. If you have someone relying on your finances and all of a sudden they are making plans to earn more money. Check for all the warning signs.
14. I constantly fear for my partner’s abusive behavior. If it happens again, I’m leaving.
False, This is a scare tactic. If they don’t leave after the first abuse, they will stay on for a lot more abusive days. They will tell you that they will leave, but it is a hopeless attempt to get you to stop the abuse. But one day, they WILL LEAVE!
15. I don’t want the relationship to continue.
False, Boom, just like that! No reason, nothing! No, this person is hiding behind the real reason for the break-up.
16. I feel closer to my partner when we are not together.
True, want to know the reason for this? Technology. Some people get along great when they only talk on the phone or send messages, but in real life, the spark is gone. This can be worked around, by not sharing daily updates over the phone, but rather waiting until you are together to share it face to face. You could also play a game, where you don’t talk to each other when you are face to face, you are only allowed to write what you want to say on a piece of paper. This will get you in the habit of transitioning from technology to real life.
17. I don’t have time for a relationship right now.
False, What? This is the lamest excuse. There are people out there, running million dollar companies, with a partner and 4 kids and they even run a Comrades Marathon. We all have the same amount of hours in our days. We prioritize the things that are most important. If there is no time allocated for you, you are way down on the list of priorities.
and the all-time favourite:
18. It’s not you, it’s me…
False, if this is the amount of reason your partner gives you for a break-up, they are surely not worth a single second of your future. This just shows that they have no respect, to be honest, they are vague and don’t respect your broken heart to rest in peace with a good enough reason. You should not accept this excuse. It is a sly way of escaping the responsibilities of honesty.
A break-up without a real reason is harder to process and heal from. If you ever have to go through a break-up, demand the accurate and honest truth, no matter how painful. Use the truthful answer to grow in yourself, so you won’t make the same mistakes.