How to: Get Rid of the Unfit

Some people just don’t fit into our lives!

Have you ever desperately needed something to fit into your life, so much so that you are willing to do anything to hammer it in where you see fit?

Like a relationship where someone is slipping away, and you would literally (in your mind, hopefully) hit them over the head with a cooked spaghetti stick, tie them up in your house and feed them a little bullspit every hour to guarantee yourself a spot in their hearts.

Do you know what the problem is? YOU! Excuse the honest truth, but if you want it, this is where you’re going to find it.

Let’s get to the core of this…

Relationships are just like jigsaw puzzles.

Jigsaw puzzles pieces mixed up in hands

You see the entire picture on the box and you love what you see, so you buy it.

You head home and what do you get? A box full of freakin’ scrambled pieces!

However, it is still in the beginning phase and you still have enough enthusiasm to complete it. You start off by sorting. First, the corners, then the sides, and some Obsessive-Compulsive people will now start sorting the colours in stacks (Yeah, that’s me).

You start with one image at a time to change the disaster into perfectly fitted pieces, interlocking to create some sense of accomplishment. Then you come across a piece, that doesn’t quite fit, but the enthusiast in you is not giving up.

Nooo, you tap it a few times, it will fit if you apply pressure! Then somehow you raise your voice at that piece and utter words that are not part of the description. You carry on like a crazy person and while holding the box cover in your left hand, your right hand is on its own mission. You hammer that thing into the puzzle like a construction worker with a compactor. If you are furious enough, your cheeks will start wobbling as you put some force to it.

Damn manufacturer, hey? Or the weather (‘cause you know… the fog) and you create a list of people to blame and run through them in your mind like a drive-through.

The sad news is – only the pieces that fit in without effort, are the correct ones!

If you put a piece in the wrong place, the right piece has no place.

Peas Green with one Red

Back to relationships!

If you have the wrong partner in your life, the right one has no place. While you are holding the hand of the wrong partner, no right partner with dignity and respect will approach you, because you are taken,

If it is a constant struggle to try to put something into place – it is certainly not supposed to go there!

I know it’s hard when you want something to fit, even though it is not part of the bigger picture. Building your life with someone requires time, effort, anticipation and consistent enthusiasm. Not only to bring out the best in them but to be the best that you can be.

Above all, if someone shows us their true colours, we paint our own picture and no matter how they disappoint us, we look past it.

We overlook things when it does not fit into our picture, and then we have the witty attitude to ask: ‘Why is my life not perfect like the picture I had imagined?” If you take out all the stuff that you hammered into your life, you might just make a great discovery.

Don’t be fooled by what you see – salt looks just like sugar!

Salt or Sugar

I encourage you to really take some time and go through all stages of your life. Pick a quiet alone time and place and just sit and relive your life.

Check your heart rate – that little jumping thing will give lots of clues when your thoughts cross a dirt road.

May your bigger picture be fulfilling and your missing pieces find their place!

Kiki Smit
Kiki Smit

Real Life Editor

Kiki Smit is an energetic bundle of humor and passion. The moment you meet her, you instantly feel like she's your best friend. She is an internationally qualified Relationship Life-Coach and Family Law Mediator. She tackles the whole shebang when it comes to couples. Although she is not a promoter of divorce, sometimes it is inevitable. Therefore as a family law mediator she handles divorce procedures to settle your divorce, maintenance and parenting plan agreements in a legally binding decree.

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