ASK KIKI: Why Are My Friendships One-Sided?

AskKiki - Investing in FriendDear Miss Rent-a-Friend

I am so proud of you for submitting your question to ASK KIKI, because it means that you know your worth and that you need to regroup.

I can guarantee you that there are millions of people draining in the ‘Ungood’ people quicksand.

Firstly, let’s look at who to avoid:

  • People who say bad things about others to you… Ya’know why? Yup, they will say bad things to others about you too!
  • Those who are negative.
  • People who are only TAKING and not GIVING.
  • Those who are not supportive/interested in what makes you happy.
  • People who make you feel less than who you are!

You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.

5 Mannequins

This means that your emotional, physical, financial and intellectual abilities grow or shrink depending on who you spend most of your time with!

For instance, you will realize how people move out of your life, sometimes, with no formal reason. In other words, you have outgrown the 5 people that you spent the most time with and you are moving over to people who are more in line with who you are now.

Do you see that there is nothing wrong with moving on?

Noticed how you started your own business and your ex-colleagues don’t contact you that much? Or when you gave your life to God and somehow the bad friends all disappeared. Or when you got married, your single friends hit the road. That is one of the things we learned from The Lion King – it’s the circle of life (I bet you sang that in your head).

You are constantly changing the 5 people you spend the most time with as you grow in life. It is VERY important for you to keep on moving upwards and not let people drag you down into their whirlwind of a life.

Girl on ladder eating cake

Why should you stagnate around people that are only taking from you and not supporting you? So yes, move up the ladder sista! If you feel that you have people in your life that don’t fit, don’t keep them close, because they are not there to see you grow! Open the door… and love them from a distance!


BoundariesSet Boundaries & standards. Everyone you meet is not a friend.

Speak Up – When someone does something you don’t approve of, speak up.

Return on Investment – Don’t invest time in someone that has none for you.

Fear Fakes – Are they fake and friendly with people they badmouthed? Let them go.

Be You – Be okay with who you are! It will attract like-minded people.

YES!!! The last one is important!

Allowing people to misuse and complain to you is actually a negative pattern of your own and you need to take responsibility for changing it. Do not let someone more messed up than you, make you feel bad about yourself!

It is impossible to feel lonely, if you like the person you are alone with  

Don’t try to fit in or be cool.  Really, that cool groepie ding is so high school. This is the big grown-up world, put on those big girl panties and face the storm!

So, bless all those people out there, good and bad, and walk with dignity, my friend!



Read more Real Life

Read more Success

Kiki Smit
Kiki Smit

Real Life Editor

Kiki Smit is an energetic bundle of humor and passion. The moment you meet her, you instantly feel like she's your best friend. She is an internationally qualified Relationship Life-Coach and Family Law Mediator. She tackles the whole shebang when it comes to couples. Although she is not a promoter of divorce, sometimes it is inevitable. Therefore as a family law mediator she handles divorce procedures to settle your divorce, maintenance and parenting plan agreements in a legally binding decree.

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

BLOSS is an international media platform for South African women who live all over the world in the age group, 20 – 35 years. We integrate print and technology through innovative and exciting ways to keep things fresh, modern and interactive.