Ask Kiki: Stuck in My Relationship, Do I Stay or Do I Go?

AskKiki - Stuck in my Relationship Full Question

Dear Miss Sticky Tape

You already made it halfway across the road by acknowledging the issue and seeking help. Still, this brings you only to the middle of the road. If you must decide between something you like and something you dislike, the answer is pretty easy. It is when you fall between 2 things you like, where things become tricky.

Girl Sitting in the middle of the road

When we need to make life decisions, we almost always start by questioning ourselves.  That is why it is important to ask the right questions:

1. Why are you already in the middle of the road? If you were sure of your future with your partner, you would have stayed right where you were, right? Never ignore your imaginary friend: Miss Intuition!

2. What is making you look back? If it is the TIMES you had, move on honey, there are more hours to come and adventures to face. If it is the COMFORT ZONE, get yourself a comfy couch and relax on your own. You can’t move forward by looking back.

3. What is making you look to the future? If there is someone waiting on the other side of the road for you (you know the grass is greener there because it’s fake). The problem with being in the middle of the road is, you get traffic, you get scared and vulnerable.  Don’t believe everything you hear!

4. As I said… Vulnerable! If your partner makes a beautiful promise for the 10th time, you’ll believe them! If the person on the opposite side of the road promises you the perfect life, you’ll believe them. Your friends and family will all pee a spot to mark their opinions. Now, this is the catch; you need to cut everyone’s opinions (now don’t go and unfriend the lot, they’ll unfriend you eventually). This is your life, YOU DECIDE! Don’t ever wonder what someone else will say when you make an honest to heart decision.

5. If you leave, how would an average week look like for you?

You repeat what you don’t repair!

Now, close your eyes, well, after you have read this, then close your eyes, and imagine a vivid picture in your head.

Imagine continuing the life you have now with your current partner. Think about things like your own ambition, happiness, time together, future dreams, compatibility, etc.

Then, think about your life without them. The decisions you will make, where you will go and how you will keep yourself busy. Think about the same things… future plans, work etc.

Black and White Blackboard chalkboard with lightbulbOne of 2 things will happen…

You will feel that you miss your partner and want to call them. Then this person is probably the one for you, and with a little help, they can light up a spark again.  Communication is necessary to solve this issue.

If you got so excited about your future alone and you thought about all the people and places you want to visit or the new business opportunity you want to target, that you already have your diary in your hand to start planning; then I am sorry to say, you can close the door on your way out.

Don’t get run over by just sitting there.



Kiki Smit
Kiki Smit

Real Life Editor

Kiki Smit is an energetic bundle of humor and passion. The moment you meet her, you instantly feel like she's your best friend. She is an internationally qualified Relationship Life-Coach and Family Law Mediator. She tackles the whole shebang when it comes to couples. Although she is not a promoter of divorce, sometimes it is inevitable. Therefore as a family law mediator she handles divorce procedures to settle your divorce, maintenance and parenting plan agreements in a legally binding decree.

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