After all these years you have finally found someone who ticks all your boxes, but one thing stands in the way – distance. Long-distance dating has been a hot topic the past few years sparking conversations like: “Can it really work?”
My answer is simple. If our grandparents could go months without seeing each other while being stuck with reading the same letter every month we sure as hell can. We live in a time where we can order food, get a car ride, listen to the latest music as soon as it drops and see other places and people through a lens, and still feel like we’re there, all from our phones. If your phone can replace your car, social life, camera, and friends from time to time why can’t it replace your partner? (Temporarily of course)
1. Respect Your Partner’s Time
I know everyone probably would’ve guessed it already but this may be one of the most important things you’ll need to do when in an LDR. Time falls short when it comes to long-distance which is why you need to respect your partner’s.
Communicate with each other about your schedules and try to find a time to talk in between or after. Don’t suffocate your partner when this happens, it’s hard to not speak to a person on a regular basis when you can’t see them, but let them have their free time apart from their busy schedules.
Set a mutual understanding about when and how you’re going to catch up after a long and busy week. The key to maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship is being able to live your lives apart without growing apart.
2. Technology Is Your Friend
Okay, so honestly it’s so easy to maintain an LDR with the help of technology. Skype, Facetime and WhatsApp video calls are a great way to catch up and speak face to face when boring old phone calls aren’t good enough anymore. Set a time at the end of every week when you both can facetime and let loose, but make sure to have enough data or strong wifi connection. Catch up, make jokes, have a deep convo – all those things will help strengthen your bond when you can’t see your partner in person.
PS. On weekdays: never underestimate the power of a random selfie and a sweet voice note.
3. Learn How To Communicate Like Pro’s
Communication REALLY is key. Although you might be communicating, you might not really get down to understanding what your partner is going through. Skip the routine “how was your day” convo some days, and ask about their personal wellbeing and outlook on life. This way you’ll learn to understand your partner’s moods by the tone of their voice.
When it comes to fighting or disagreeing, don’t hesitate to be fully honest with each other and speak your mind when it comes to how you’re feeling. Odds are your partner may be feeling the same. ALWAYS try to understand what your partner is feeling and why, don’t make your partner feel the need to apologize for the way that they are feeling, rather acknowledge this and find a mutual understanding.
Knowing how to communicate correctly is a key factor in any relationship so don’t act impulsively out of sadness or anger when you’re fighting. Rather take a 20-minute breather to think about your feelings and your partner’s and speak compassionately to each other.
4. Don’t Put Your Life On Hold
Long-distance relationships take a lot of sacrifice, no doubt, but be smart about what you sacrifice. Usually, when the distance is only meant to last for a short period of time it’s easy to put your life on hold during that time without even noticing it. You might not be engaging in social activity, skipping out on your hobbies or even stop cultivating friendships. It’s one thing to look forward to a life with your partner, but it’s another to postpone your whole life until then. Live each day fully, it might not be as fun as when your partner is around but it will definitely make the time go by faster.
5. Have An End Goal
Having the hope that you’ll be together long term will help you ride out the toughest days of being apart from one another. Set an end goal for your relationship; it’s better to feel like your working towards something as a team and not rather just riding it out and seeing what it turns out to be.
Set dates for when you’ll see each other again and set a date as to when your partner will be home permanently. More than anything, being able to go through the toughest environment for any relationship will make you feel closer at the end.
Long-distance sucks that’s a fact, but if you really make an effort to keep things flowing this might be the biggest blessing for you and your partner. If you can survive the distance you’ll be able to survive most problems couples go through. Ride it out, and if anything, try and see the lesson in each obstacle and grow from it as a couple.